“If you got Gothing problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems, but a Goth ain’t one…”
Ok yeahbut sometimes it is. I spent pretty much half an hour yesterday trying to find one specific top in the shitshow that I call my chest of drawers, much to the consternation of my friend who was trying to chivvy me along to get the hell ready while getting progressively more frustrated.
As she said to me in an exasperated voice, “I can’t help you to find it, they all look the same… And on that note, why don’t you just pick a different one..?” But NO, I wanted This. One. Specific. Top., and nothing else was going to do. I found it in the end, by the way.
So anyhoo, I figured I’d spend this blog post sharing ten of the admittedly very first-world problems that are unique to Goth girls, for your entertainment. Add your own in the comments at the bottom!
- WHY can’t I find my black top!
- When you’re wearing heavy boots with buckles or bungees, you cross your ankles, and two of the buckles catch together, hobbling your legs in place until someone takes pity on you and sorts it out…
(Demonia Trashville, buy them here!)
- When your favourite, wear-everywhere black shirt fades to grey in the wash. L
- When you dye your hair deep, ruby red, but it ends up as a shitshow orange and Just. Won’t. Wash. Out.
Short’n’Crazy knows that the struggle is real.
- When sunglasses just don’t come with dark enough lenses anymore.
- When you just flaming well can’t find any nice vegetarian footwear. (You’re not looking hard enough…)
- When you get a new boss at work who suddenly starts deciding to enforce the dress code, and makes you cover all of your piercing with blue plasters.
- When your mum tells you she thought you’d have grown out of “the Goth thing” by now.
- When someone calls you Emo
- When you can’t get your eye makeup to match on both sides, so you just keep adding more and more until you look like a total twat and have to start all over again…
I could go on all day here. Go on, do it for me. J