I am pretty sure that a common Goth trait is greatly preferring animals to people in most situations, and I am no exception-in fact, I like to quietly tell myself that I am quite the pack leader in this respect. I never met an animal I didn’t like-spiders don’t count, and I even find them fascinating to read about or view from a safe distance behind an impenetrable glass barrier whilst holding an AK47 just in case.
I currently serve two cats-Matilda and Batman-as well as apparently some kind of rodent that is currently living in one of my cupboards. I am trying to catch it in a trap and release tube, which is currently failing in its stated purpose but does seem to be providing said rodent with a convenient and easily accessible source of regularly replenished food.
One of the cats brought this fella in, and I failed to catch and remove it before she let it go. Since then I have had to be particularly vigilant about intercepting said cat with her subsequent pets, lest I unwittingly find myself in possession of a breeding pair.
Although it’s probably not a Guinea pig.
Anyway, I have spent a lot of my life on and off working with animals, am what my mother calls a “dog botherer” when out and about, and think everything with fur, scales or feathers needs feeding, and that it is my job to do so. I am always trying to play matchmaker between my friends who I think are both responsible and not at full capacity yet, and homeless, wonky or otherwise in-need animals that need a home.
So, with all of this in mind, I have decided to dedicate this blog post to sharing five of the best pets and familiar animals for Goths, whether you want something as demanding as a child or just want to be on nodding terms with the local wildlife.
For some additional ideas or if you are looking for some rather larger and more exotic options, check out this list from The Everyday Goth, or Stripy Tights and Dark Delights’ hilarious list of pets owned by a cross-section of Goths polled for The Goth Bible.
A black cat
A black cat, because OBVS. Behold, Batman Salem Slinkycat:
Greatly smartening up my home décor and blending in quite nicely too. Cats are the best companions for Goths, in my highly biased opinion, and black cats are the best of the best. They match your wardrobe, have the most awesome personalities, and are painfully beautiful too.
Cats are loving, warm, affectionate and hilarious, as well as being quite happy entertaining themselves as well.
Added to which, black cats are the hardest to rehome, and the most commonly overlooked in shelters, which means that as Goths, we have a duty to serve our black-clad brethren and prioritise adopting them accordingly. So says me.
A weird Gothy dog
If you’re looking for a Gothy dog, look no further than the Hungarian Puli.
Yes my friend, this dude has actual honest to god dreadlocks, which is something that you don’t see every day, and they are medium sized, relatively long lived, and again, DREADLOCKS. ON A DOG. Natural dreadlocks, that form as cords and have to be cared for just like dreaded hair. You need a dog with locs. Everyone does. Go on.
Seriously there cannot possibly be an animal more Goth than a crow, partially because whilst these birds are really intelligent and will potentially adopt humans, they are also never going to be anyone’s bitch and will soon bugger off and/or shit all over your stuff if you displease them.
Obviously crows aren’t domesticated per se, but if you find yourself in a position to help or rescue one, they are certainly prepared to consider taking on a human as a pet, as this lady found out.
Even if you have crows in your garden or nearby and make an effort to befriend them by providing food or being nice to them, they are scarily smart and will soon come to recognise you, and may even start bringing you shiny things to say thanks. No really, this is a thing.
Snakes are cool. If you are looking for a caged pet that is both fascinating and reasonably low maintenance assuming that you know what you are doing and don’t think they take care of themselves, and are keen to get something a little different, a snake might be the way to go.
Look! He’s wearing stripy leggings!
I mean, imagine answering the door to the Jehovahs clad in all black and with an albino snake just randomly winding itself around your neck. Some good breeds of pet snake for beginners include corn snakes, king snakes and ball pythons, none of which grow to massive sizes-save the seven-foot boa constrictor for the grown-ups.
OMG so adorable…
Finally, fish are great. You can keep a small tank or a whole room of tanks, have masses of choices in terms of saltwater, tropical or coldwater, and can decorate their cribs with more care and attention than you do your own but for a fraction of the cost.
Seriously, a Goth fishtank is a great idea, and whether you just get a couple of black goldfish or something a bit more challenging like the awesome yellowtail damsonfish above, you can for sure find a set-up within your budget.
Do you have a favourite Goth pet? Tell me in the comments.