We’ve already covered Goth weddings before, with some tips on how to Goth up your special day, based on the assumption that you and your significant other are both Goths and committed to tipping your hat to the look on the day itself. However, challenging as it might seem to be to have a wedding that both encompasses your Goth style and doesn’t disappoint your elderly relatives, this has nothing on another challenging wedding dilemma: What do you wear if you are invited to a wedding that’s going to be fairly traditional or formal, and everyone else is going to be wearing pastels and pearls?
This tricky little topic is the subject of this week’s blog post, being as we are now coming into the season of wedding madness 2015.
Who are you?
“Who are you?” might be one of those unanswerable existential questions so beloved of self-help groups, but in this case, I mean” who are you in relation to the bride and groom,” and where do you fall in the ranking of the wedding guests.
If, for instance, you are a close friend or relative of the bride or groom, the chances are that they have seen you recently, know what you look like, and will either yay or nay the basics of your look in terms of how well it will fit in with their wedding without feeling bashful about doing so.
If, however, you are someone’s plus one or don’t know the happy couple well, they may be in for a shock when they see you on the day.
At my BFF’s wedding a couple of years ago with me as the maid of honour, her wedding was about as un-trad as you could imagine, with a pagan jumping of the broom at the end, and the bride herself in a 40’s cherry-print dress and red mini top hat. However, even with this wide palate of styles to work with, trying to work out what the hell me, with my hot pink hair, could wear down the aisle with her and not clash was a challenge, so in the end we said fuck it, and went for an all-black wiggle dress with pink accessories. Clash hard or go home!
Not all brides, however, will be as cool about this.
What is the theme of the wedding?
Regardless of where you fall in relation to the guest pecking order, try to talk to the bride/one of the brides for same sex weddings (not the groom, men cannot be trusted with weddings) about how formal or otherwise their wedding will be, and if tattoos, piercings and weird-coloured hair should be covered for the pictures.
They will appreciate you asking, even if they are fine with the look. Also, be prepared to read tone and context; a frigid smile accompanied with “no it’s fine” is probably bride-speak for “blend in, bitch,” but the bride is just too polite to say so.
Incorporating your Goth look
You can still show your own style without either scaring or upstaging the bride, you just have to do you in possibly a slightly different way than usual. Few wedding guests can get away with wearing all black at a non-Goth wedding, so don’t take my look as a get out of jail free card!
However, something that is both dressy and alt such as this House Bunny dress with a shawl and some brightly coloured accessories will tick all of the wedding boxes without leaving you with a pointless purchase that you will not be able to wear anywhere else at the end of it.
Seamed stockings and some really cool coloured heels are all also excellent accessories to pair with your dress too.
Toning things down
Don’t go full Goth on the makeup if you’re trying to tone things down, and if your hair is unusual or an odd colour, think about wigging up or wearing a hat for a traditional wedding.
Don’t begin to view the whole thing as a trial or a chore, but as a chance to try something new and cool, and maybe get some new ideas. Remember, this is someone’s special day, and it’s supposed to be fun!