Yeah I know you know what I’m talking about… Pokemon Go. As a yoof, I never had anything to do with Pokemon, and other than being aware of things like trading cards and Anime cartoons, I never really got to grips with what it was all about.
Enter Pokemon Go, which just dropped in the UK a couple of days ago and now the whole world has gone mad. I didn’t know the thing was even coming until it basically broke the internet in a way that Kim Kardashian’s ass can only aspire to, and sucked most of my friends up along with it.
I spent probably less than a day watching everyone I know lose their shit-from the ex-military sensible dudes who jog with packs of bricks on their backs and never smile, to the barely smartphone competent older parents, to every teenager I have ever laid eyes on, before I decided to see what the effing crap this bullshit was all about.
Here’s the thing-I have a Windows phone (yep, me and like, maybe three other people) and Pokemon Go isn’t supported on it. I was pretty much due for an upgrade anyway, and now it is decided-I’m going Android, because when the whole country is being taken over by a cult, you don’t wanna be the only weirdo left, am I right?
Until then, I have been living vicariously through the internet adventures of others, and it is this form of entertainment that has swayed the balance for me-people all over the world are having an awesome time running around in the real world hunting for Squirtles and other faintly rudely-named things, and I don’t want to be left out.
If you don’t know what Pokemon Go is, seriously, do you have the internet? So I’m not going to try to explain the basics of it, which would be kind of daft as I have not even played it yet.
However, I am going to share some of my favourite highlights of internet insanity that have resulted from this whole brouhaha, for your delectation.
Riot in Central Park
This is pretty much the highlight of the whole thing for me-the idea of the game is to “catch” these Pokemon things, and there are 150 of them all told. Some of them are rarer than others, and when a rare one appears somewhere, people lose their effing shit.
41 seconds of pure comedy gold. Anyone else think it looks like a scene from a zombie movie?
Police forces all over the world have advised people to keep their fucking heads when searching… Don’t wander into bad places, head down dark alleys with strange trench coated men in them, and ffs, don’t get your phone nicked, or you won’t be able to keep playing.
Are you playing Pokemon Go? Tell me all!