So the Olympics have been happening over the last couple of weeks, an event that largely passes me by in the main part (apart from the London one, as I was living in London and got free tickets). However I have watched a bit of it this year largely because I spent a couple of days in a hotel with my parents, which meant both a TV on tap and my parents going to bed at 9pm, leaving me with little else to do.
I watched some of the diving and the gymnastics and enjoyed them, but as usual, my main Olympic entertainment has come from the social media coverage and drama that invariably crops up around some of the events and competitors, and the Rio Games have certainly been rich in that respect.
So I’m going to just sum up that aspect of things-the drama, lies and general bad behaviour, because that’s how I roll.
All of the Russians are high (or something)
So first up, Russia’s athletes were nearly booted from the Olympics altogether, thanks to the widespread, state-sanctioned doping that was going on. Some of them were ultimately allowed to compete, but they received a fairly hostile reception from the crowds anyway.
The American swimmers are drunken, lying frat boys
The gold award for lying.
I think the big news from this year’s Olympics has mainly been the four USA swimmers who basically lied about getting mugged, when in fact they’d got pissed, trashed a bathroom and tried to cover up for it with a bullshit story.
I can sort of see what I think happened here-Ryan Lochte lied to his Mom about being a raving douchecanoe and instead made up some tale about getting mugged, she shared it on social media, and before you knew it, the boys involved were kind of committed to continuing the lie even though it nearly sparked an international incident.
The Rio government are big on extortion
Of the three swimmers who didn’t manage to exit the country before they got caught out for lying, two of them dramatically got removed from their plane out before they escaped, and all three of them had their passports taken away until they owned up, apologised and coughed up some goodwill money to various charities.
However, it would appear from this side of the fence that the swimmers were pretty much forced to donate this money if they wanted to get out, and the term “donation” is certainly being used in a sketchy manner here-in my opinion, this is a ransom rather than a meaningful or legitimate fine.
The diving pool is seriously nasty
Spot the difference.
Shortly after the various pool-based events started, the diving pool turned an unhealthy-looking shade of green, which one diver said meant that she could not see her partner in the water, and which turned the aforementioned Ryan Lochte’s silver hair a fetching shade of turquoise.
After initially blaming the greenness on algae, it is now known that the colour change happened due to some 80 litres of hydrogen peroxide being dumped into it without anyone who should be in charge of these things knowing how. So that’s reassuring.
All of the athletes are at it like rabbits
I can’t see why.
Finally, one common theme that seems to run through every Olympic Games is the fact that the Olympic village is basically one massive orgy venue, complete with supplied condoms-the equivalent of 42 per athlete at this Games, apparently. Which, like, dude. How do they even have the energy after they’ve done their stuff? Impressed.