Whilst my own relationship status currently stands at “two cats” and is only likely to change if I um, get a third cat, as soon as summer comes around, so do the obligatory flurry of invites to weddings of folk I know, who consequently also tend to be “folks who wear a lot of black.
While Goth-themed or styled weddings used to be uncommon enough a few years ago that they were apt to make the local papers on a slow news week, these days they seem to be much more of a thing. Ergo, there is now a metric fucktonne of ideas and inspiration out there for brides and/or grooms looking to go the same way.
This works for me, because it means that I get to go to the wedding looking like this:
SOMEBODY HAD STOLEN MY DRINK.
…And ergo, don’t have to pants about and spend money trying to find something made out of pastel taffeta or otherwise offensive to my sensibilities.
However, if you are the one going to be walking down the aisle, the chances are that you’re going to be spending a bit more time on deciding how shit is gonna go down, what you’re going to wear,where you’re going to have the ceremony, and mainly, what the epic party you’re going to throw is going to look like.
With this in mind, I have picked up some inspiration from my friends’ nuptials over the course of the last couple of years, and other people’s online offerings too. You can also get loads of inspiration and warm fuzzies by checking out some video clips that people have uploaded to YouTube of their own Gothy weddings too.
Most weddings involve a bride, and being as I am a girl, this is going to be what I open with, which I guess tells you something about my priorities or something? I dunno, anyway.
The days when it was considered de rigeur to spend thousands on a frock seem to be behind us,which is all good, and with some of my friends the bragging rights have gone entirely in the other direction, with a race to the bottom in terms of who could acquire the best dress for the least beans.
Getting married in all black is a bold choice even for a Goth wedding, and in fact nobody from my immediate crew has actually done this-yet.
40’s and pin-up style dresses with a fitted sweetheart neckline and fit and flare skirt are really popular at the moment and also in my opinion, really great choices for a wedding dress. You get to look awesome without sweating your knackers off or needing help to go to the toilet, and your footwear options range from fuck-me heels to flats, depending on your preference.
Dark, deep greens, rich ruby reds and of course, medieval-styled frocks are also solid choices for Goths looking for something off the peg, but honestly some of my favourite dresses have been those that friends (or their mums) have handmade or customised without spending a fortune.
FOR REAL, SOMEONE MADE THIS.
Now we’ve covered the most important bit, onto the “where.” As recently as 15 or so years ago,your options were pretty much church or registry office, but since the regulations slackened off somewhat, you can now get married at a much wider range of sites. Stately homes, museums, all sorts… But there are still a couple of things you can’t do, such as have total freedom in picking your venue by say, getting married in your own back garden.
This is because in order to be permitted to hold a legal wedding, the venue must have a licence-and these are costly enough that it is not really viable for most to jump through all of the various hoop sand pay all of the money to get their Auntie Edna’s attic declared as a wedding venue.
One of the most ass-draggy and pointless rules on where you cannot have a wedding is outside-you cannot legally get married in England, Wales or NI out of doors unless in/under a permanent structure like a pagoda (again, with the requisite venue licence), which kind of defeats the object,no? In Scotland, on the other hand, you can-so fill your boots.
There are still lots of cool and Goth-friendly places in the UK where you can get married legally,include venues such as Hoghton Tower in Lancashire, whose USP is basically shilling mystical, fairy-tale weddings for both your dark and your light princess.
There’s even a whole section on the “Find a Wedding Venue” website dedicated to helping you to find the Gothic venue of your dreams, although feck moi, the prices of some of them…
So this is the bit that everyone (apart from maybe the bride/groom, but not necessarily) is really there for, and if you’ve found yourself to be thwarted in terms of your dream of saying your vows outside or in a specific location, this also gives you the chance to have your own second ceremony just how you want it.
Something I have picked up along the way where my mates’ Goth weddings have been concerned is that your venue can either be really costly or pretty cheap, but if you decorate the fuck out of it, no one will notice either way.
Got a mate with a field? Large garden? Cellar full of vintage catacombs? Gift them with the privilege of hosting your reception, they’ll love it, honestly.
Anyway, going back to my original point about how decorating and theming your venue can turn it into exactly what you wanted, to tie off, here are some of my favourite ideas for things you can make or buy to decorate your venue with a Gothy theme without busting the bank.
Get yourself a load of plain, cheap test tubes or other odd glassware, decorate them and fill them with dark and murky shots such as absinthe and port. Bonus points for drinks that can be set on fire.
Buy a load of cheap plasterboard or plastic picture frames, spray them black and use them to display art or images of your choice
Get a projector and project a pattern, image or collage onto a large wall to mask crappy village hall décor.
Purchase some large rolls of tulle or other sheer, low cost fabric and literally just drape everything from the walls to the tables. (Keeping the flaming drinks bar well away…)
Got an idea of your own, or want to share some pics of your own Gothy wedding? I would LOVE to hear from you. Hook me up in the comments.