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YouTube tutorials for Goths: the worst

So I’ve very generously shared with you my picks of five of the best Goth tutorials on YouTube, and it was pretty hard to pick just five as there are a lot of good quality, informative vids out there. However, you surely don’t need me to tell you that YouTube is also kind of full of dross as well, and this ranges from the hilariously inappropriate to just hilarious, and for all of the wrong reasons.

I loves me a bit of car crash TV, which is what some of the worst of YouTube for Goths reminds me of, and so I figured that I would share some of the greatest offences known to Goth with you as well.

Presenting for your delectation, five of the worst “Goth” vids on YouTube.

Expert Village

LOLGOTHNO. Expert Village is some kind of presumably money-generating professional outfit, based on the sheer number of their videos and the expertise behind the style of the vids. However, this is all good and well until the point sat which they get caught with their pants down, by falling for the classic mistake of “sticking some black on it and calling it Goth.”

Everyone’s an expert

To my mind, in order to do a convincing Goth look, you either have to be an actual Goth, or a makeup professional who knows Goth inside out. That doesn’t stop a shit-tonne of pretenders stepping up to the plate to pitch in their own unique take on Goth though, as this vid on About.com shows. Bless.

Halloween=Goth. Apparently.

So if YouTube has taught me one thing, it is that Halloween and Goth are one and the same, and that Goth is an excellent tag for anything involving pretty much anything that involves both makeup and ghosts. I got to this fancy dress tutorial because apparently Goth is one of the top search tags for the vid, despite it having very little to do with Goth, or anything else that’s not fancy dress for that matter either.

“Get ready with me” pastel Goth

“Get ready with me” is kind of a cool concept; showing you how to get a look, including clothes, hair and make-up in about five minutes. However, this vid has again fallen for the myth that anything involving something dark or black in colour is Goth, as evinced by the opening narration of the vid: “today I’m feeling a little dark; but still really cute.” Ok, well as long as your Goth is SUPERCUTE, you’re good. Topped off by a Hello Kitty dress, and not ironically.

Nu Goth/soft grunge

What the eff is “nu Goth actually, anyway? I suppose I’d better find out, by watching this handy video! Ok so apparently it involves a 58 second video with no narration, of a basic girl wearing some make up, a checked top, and a pentagram. Then she “takes it to town,” where you can see the girl actually walking out in public. And err, that’s it. No really.

Spooky University has found many, many more.

Lady Gothique
Lady Gothique
The gal who runs www.gothicangelclothing.co.uk.

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